Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
