Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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