if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
