did you get engaged???
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize