Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
