I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize