Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
