Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
