so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
