do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize