Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
