i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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