You can't motorboat a personality
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
