Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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