found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
