I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
