I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
