Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
