I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
