I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Randomize
