Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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