Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
