my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
