I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
