I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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