There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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