respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
