oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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