I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
