His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize