I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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