i was born a porn star she said
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize