road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
