My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
