Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
