oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
