dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
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