do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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