Only a mothe r could love this liver
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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