yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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