I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
