i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
soo... how was my night?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
