I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
