the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Are we still banned from the library?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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