I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
