phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
