READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize