i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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