why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
