Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize