I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We left the knife in your bed.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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