your parents love me but you hate me
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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