I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just invented taco cereal.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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