yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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