you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize