she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
