dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
