Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
