I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
