So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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