How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
