Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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