I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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