Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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