last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
as a side note pls kill me
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