I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
He uses pillows to masturbate.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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