Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Boobs are out for the taking
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
