Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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