OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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